Beach Fly

Beach fly is a variant of the bar fly, and like this cartoon, it is cheap, quick, and easy. I'm on vacation this week.

Cheers, motherfuckers!

cp

Snack Check

TSA is conducting snack checks now. Snack checks. Like hockey checks, but they rattle a snack loose and eat it.

"Let me see your snacks, sir! I LIKE THAT KIND...it can't fly!" *CHOMP!*

I recognize that these front-line pervs are doing someone else's bidding, but the whole lot of them are contemptible shits, so no breaks. And as foul as they are between you and the airplanes, you should see them at the end of a shift. The same people who just spent eight hours keeping you in line while sniffing your shorts and feeling up your kids, drive like they're on the final lap at Talladega in a fucking rental car. No kindness. No courtesy. Just aggressive, boorish assholes jockeying for an inch that might be yours. Despicable shits!

You know, there's another division of TSA that just goes around levying fines against airport tenants and airline employees. It's true. Every time there is a lapse in security or a breech in the system somewhere on the airfield (irregardless of whose lapse it was, but usually their own), the TSA starts pestering the shit out of tenants and employees at the airport. Seriously despicable, contemptible shits.

...anyway, they're taking snacks from passengers now.

Don't worry, shit-eater. You're back on next week.

cp

Specs

Well, well. Here comes ole 4002 eyes...

Margot cautiously enters the halls of ridicule wearing her new specs.

cp

Identity Crisis

I wonder which bathroom the June bugs are going to make Lester use.

cp

Porning

I think in one of the instances where I walked in on this situation, the panicked response was, "AAAHHH! PORNING!!" I stepped out before I saw anything and stood there, stunned by a profound realization: porning is a verb. 

What does it mean "to porn"?

cp

Fly

The idea of a fly flying, at least in this fashion, is fucking ridiculous.

I used the acrylic brushes I downloaded a couple of weeks ago.  I don't know that they serve cartoons very well.

cp

Acrylic Brush Set

I use Autodesk Sketchbook for this trivial, audience-free shit. One of the benefits of being a subscriber to Sketchbook is the availability of free brush sets. Last week I downloaded the acrylic brush set. Acrylics are my weapon of choice when I'm not wielding my stylus. These e-brushes, remarkably, mimic the strokes of (cheap) brushes loaded with acrylic paint--but not entirely or exactly. The touch, shape, and finess of an actual brush is still far superior. But this ain't bad. But it ain't good, either.

cp

Marie Antoinette

"Let them eat shit!"

I had a college professor, quite convincingly, suggest that when Marie Antoinette stated the fateful sentence that got her cpu removed, that she was just being oblivious and juvenile.

“Let them eat cake!"

His rationale was convincing. She was a girl raised in a well-insulated, splendidly wealthy environment. When her family ran out of bread she declared that they should just eat cake instead, cause that’s what she does when she can’t find bread. She eats cake. He may have been on to something. Paris Hilton wasn’t a thing of controversy during my college years, but now that I think about it, I’m drawing a connection. I think Marie may have been just as dense as Paris; same situation, same ridiculously wealthy people. I’ve always wanted to feed Paris Hilton a pepper, so when she says, “That’s hot,” she’ll mean it in it’s actual context. I could also throw a cup of coffee at her. “That’s hot”. Or fly her to the sun. “That’s hot”.

cp

War Machine

A fly swatter extends your reach and amplifies your speed, literally everything you want in a war machine.

cp

On Attraction

Also, Shirley, you are a housefly. 

cp