Artsy Fartsy Shitsy

Bob Ross whips out a masterpiece in under a half hour. It takes me a little longer.

Editor's Note: "Masterpiece" is used very loosely here.

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Baby Daddy

Somebody better call Maury Povich.

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Date Night

Kenny knows respect--but he knows shame too.

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Fliamese Twins

I bet the pokey part is on his side too.

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Strike

Based on actual events.
That actually happened.
In my house.
This week.

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Period

Alternate responses:

• I've eaten worse.
• Well can I sniff it a bit?
• It's not your fault. It's not your fault.
• I'm Batman. 
• "HEEEEEY, DON'T LET IT GO TO WASTE! I LOVE IT BUT I HATE THE TASTE!"

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Persistence

The persistence with which a fly will bang its ugly head against a closed window leaves little doubt as to why biology dictates it must have a jillion maggots per litter.

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Keto

I heard someone say, "Man, this keto diet sucks. I can't eat shit."

Who knew? Sneaky carbs. Hiding everywhere. 

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Risk

Sometimes you have to measure the risk. If the reward is substantial, you just have to go for it.

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Happy Little Spartans

The meme is not mine.
I'm disappointed I didn't think of it first.

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