Fliamese Twins

I bet the pokey part is on his side too.

cp

Strike

Based on actual events.
That actually happened.
In my house.
This week.

cp

Period

Alternate responses:

• I've eaten worse.
• Well can I sniff it a bit?
• It's not your fault. It's not your fault.
• I'm Batman. 
• "HEEEEEY, DON'T LET IT GO TO WASTE! I LOVE IT BUT I HATE THE TASTE!"

cp

Persistence

The persistence with which a fly will bang its ugly head against a closed window leaves little doubt as to why biology dictates it must have a jillion maggots per litter.

cp

Keto

I heard someone say, "Man, this keto diet sucks. I can't eat shit."

Who knew? Sneaky carbs. Hiding everywhere. 

cp